


Choosing Wrong

by Anomy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Darcy is the fandom bicycle and I love it, F/M, Gen, Hydra (Marvel), Moral Ambiguity, Pre-Relationship, Spies & Secret Agents, Steve Rogers Has Issues, everyone has so many issues omg, hydra!darcy, is trash, not evil!darcy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-12 10:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2107173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anomy/pseuds/Anomy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Darcy is Hydra and Bucky is the Winter Soldier. But maybe they aren't entirely evil.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <em>Two older boys wheeled in a large tank like the ones she had seen at Marine World. But instead of fish, the tank contained a pale man with long dark hair and the most epic arm ever.</em></p>
<p>  <em>“Wicked,” Darcy breathed.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>(Incidentally, this was also the first time she saw a man naked. Later she would say that the experience gave her unrealistic expectations when it came to the male sex.)</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choosing Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> I do not have a beta so... sorry for all errors. If they interfere with your reading experience please feel free to PM me. I totally appreciate it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Age 9**

“Hail Hydra!”

Darcy snapped to attention and gave a high salute, the movement familiar and instinctual. “Hail Hydra!” Her high-pitched voiced echoed brightly down the hallway and the man in the beige suit (‘ _man-in-tan’ Darcy giggled to herself_ ) smiled down at her. He crouched down in front of her so she could look directly into his light blue eyes.

“Cut off one head…”

“Two more shall take its place!” She blurted out the reply as quickly as possible, eager to prove how much she knew. The man nodded seriously at her before standing and briskly continuing down the hall. Darcy watched him shake hands with two men before they all turned into a guarded room.

“Darcy!” Brock marched back to Darcy ( _because she was his bestest friend ever obviously_ ). “We have to go now or we’re going to miss it.” Brock grabbed her wrist and pulled her with him while telling her ( _again_ ) why the Winter Soldier was so cool. “He can’t feel anything. They say you could cut his leg off and he’d just keep fighting…”

“Does he hop?”

“It didn’t really happen stupid, I’m just saying.”

“My dad says he has a metal arm. I bet they chopped that off instead of his leg.” The base had been buzzing with excitement over the recent acquisition of codename: Winter Soldier. As far as Darcy could tell he ( _“it” her father reminded her_ ) was a robot-assassin-ninja or maybe the Terminator. And today was delivery day.

Darcy and Brock weren’t supposed to be in sector 7, but no one in the crowded observation deck noticed their presence (or if they did, they didn’t care enough to miss a glimpse of a living legend.) Darcy squeezed through the crowd until she could see the warehouse floor below. Everyone’s heads were turned towards an open door on the far side of the room so she joined them because it was okay to be like everyone else if everyone else was being smart. ( _Darcy thought most people were usually being dumb so she made her own rules. Her mother said she had “issues with authority.” Her dad said she had the makings of a leader._ )

Her dad was the first to enter through the door and he had his “shepherd-of-the-people” expression on. When he saluted the crowd his voice filled the whole warehouse and Darcy smirked. Her smug expression fled when the lady next to her stomped on her foot when snapping into a return salute.

“Peanut butter and jelly!” Darcy swore ( _you could only get in trouble for swearing if you used so-called “bad” words_ ) before being thoroughly shushed by everyone nearby.

And then she saw HIM for the first time. Two older boys she kind of recognized wheeled in a large tank like the ones she had seen at Marine World. But instead of fish, the tank contained a pale man with long dark hair and the most epic arm ever.

“Wicked,” Darcy breathed.

 

(Incidentally, this was also the first time she saw a man naked. Later she would say that the experience gave her unrealistic expectations when it came to the male sex.)

 

 

\--- --- ---

 

 

Darcy had chosen to be normal.

And the universe had laughed.

“Jane, I think your alien-god booty call is here!” Because, yeah, that’s a thing. Unseasonal thunder? Time to pop in some headphones and settle in in the common room. Darcy would be angry about being sexiled yet again ( _had Jane even read the roommates contract?_ ) but she’d seen Thor’s ass. Also the whole thing was very Shakespearean. The real issue at hand was whether 90’s Leo or Thor was more swoon-worthy. She was leaning towards Leo, because to be honest Thor sometimes reminded her of a Golden Retriever. But on the other hand, dat ass. She was going to have to table the debate until further research could be done. ( _Note to self: add “Total Eclipse” to Netflix cue.)_

Darcy had taken the first escape from her sheltered Hydra upbringing that had presented itself. Hydra liked to have a hand in every pot ( _or a head because have you heard our catchphrase? It has to do with a hydra. Like our name. Get it?_ ) The point being that, even crazy astrophysicists with out-there theories got minders. Enter Darcy the Political Science major who was inexplicably the only applicant for Jane Foster's internship..

New Mexico wouldn’t have been Darcy’s first choice of location ( _What is this New York City you speak of? Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.)_ However, the placement with Jane did come with two huge benefits.

1)   It was a solo assignment. In other words: nobody looking over her shoulder, nobody to report to unless something big came up. With any luck at all they would forget about her and she could live a few years as “Darcy Lewis: College Student.”

2)   It was super unlikely that Jane would do anything of interest to Hydra. Darcy could just sit back and enjoy freedom. Maybe she’d learn to knit.

But as previously stated, the universe told Darcy to suck it.

Long story short: Jane did something of interest ( _damn it Jane, you had one job!_ ). When it came down to it Darcy’s conscience objected to spying on Jane and Erik, with whom she had formed a sort of family. Darcy met Agent Coulson. Coulson didn’t shoot her on the spot when he figured out who she was. Darcy became a double agent reporting to Coulson personally. Coulson died. Darcy defaulted to being a single agent. Darcy spies on her friends for an evil organization ( _Hydra’s severance package is a bullet to the head._ )

And to top it all off her and Jane are living in Tony freaking Stark’s tower ( _hello New York!_ ) because Tony freaking Stark thinks it’s normal to give luxury apartments to all his friends (and their significant others, and their significant others’ unpaid interns.) Darcy has become one of Hydra’s best-placed assets completely by mistake.

Darcy is betraying everyone. She’s even betraying the crazy-hot-dude-in-sweatpants sketching at the window.

“Hey Steve.” Steve’s a bit of a mess. Apparently involuntary time travel via ice is not great for the soul.

“Darcy.” What’s charming and heartbreaking about Steve is that he always gives her a smile, even when something’s obviously gnawing at him. Captain America is everything she is supposed to stand against, but Steve Rogers is teaching her that Captain America is all about heart. Steve values every person and will fight for them even when he can’t win. And not just with his shield.

“Judy in the cafeteria has the sketch you did of her last week framed. It’s hanging up in the kitchen. She’s already told me about it like five bazillion times.” Steve notices people, really sees them ( _in a deeeeep way ya’know_ ), and sometimes he uses his drawings to let them know. The first time he’d given one away it had been of a grandmother working as a maid to support the grandchildren she raises. Steve captured her straitening a picture in the hallway. Her head is tilted as she considers the painting, but you can see the efficiency of her movement and the sturdy strength in her stance. She cried when he gave it to her.

“That’s nice of her.” Steve has self-worth problems. Steve has sooo many problems.

“I guess. Must be such a sacrifice to put up a flattering, personal portrait drawn by Captain America himself.” When Steve just shrugs, she peaks over his shoulder at the sketch he’s working on and gasps.

The second time Darcy sees the Winter Soldier he’s in a sketch by Steve Rogers.

 

(Darcy doesn’t tell Steve that Bucky Barnes is alive. Darcy doesn’t tell Hydra that the asset used to be a person. Maybe they already know about James Buchanan Barnes, but it’s the least she can do for Steve.)

 

 

\--- --- ---

 

 

The third time she sees him is on TV. She’s glued to the screen for all the D.C. coverage. He’s beautiful and lethal. He has the kind of unconscious viciousness that her dad would admire; the same viciousness that is burned into her blood and written all over her bones. Darcy is entranced.

When she was young, she and Brock used to pretend to be the Winter Soldier and Captain America. It was the ultimate matchup of good v. evil ( _for a certain value of good… Go brainwashed assassin!_ ). They would utilize all their martial arts training as they wrestled together. The Soldier always won, because Brock always played him; Brock never ended a fight until he had won, no matter the cost.

The men on the TV outshine any of their youthful fantasies. Even the grainy cellphone footage conveys their superhuman abilities.

She is watching the newsfeeds ( _plural, Tony has an entire wall covered in streams of different stations_ ) with Jane, Pepper, and Tony when 3 phones go off at once. Pepper scans hers quickly.

“Fury.”

“He’s dead.” They don’t call Tony a genius for nothing.

“Apparently not. He says to ‘batten down the hatches.’ No details.”

“Natasha sends her own cryptic warning.” It’s like a lightning bolt shoots through the room. Tony and Pepper in business mode is a sight to see. Within seconds the two of them are making calls while simultaneously talking to JARVIS and typing on tablets. They put everything into preparing for the mysterious emergency coming down the pipe. They don’t even take a moment to breathe.

Darcy feels Jane’s eyes on her back. When she turns, Jane looks expectantly down at her phone. Darcy stiffens, because she’s pretty sure she didn’t get a text from an Avenger. She opens the message:

PREPARE FOR EXPOSURE

She has to reread the short message four or five times before it registers. Exposure. Hydra has always been a shadow organization. Her father’s motto was “they can’t cut off the head if they don’t know it’s there.” (“ _But if they cut the head, two more will grow back and then we’ll have even more heads.” “True, but do you want to be the head that is cut off?”_ )

Panic shoots through her when she thinks about her parents. Darcy doesn’t like betraying her friends, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t her parents’ daughter. Darcy isn’t sure whose side she’s really on: the side of the people she spies for or the side of the people she spies on. It may be a moot point in a few hours. She might not exist in a few hours. Few places are worse locations for being exposed as Hydra than Avengers tower.

“Darcy?” Jane is still waiting. Darcy puts on her Darcy-Lewis-is-a-space-cadet face and shrugs.

“My friend Carolyn just wanted to know if I still had her shorts I borrowed. Crazy timing, right?” Jane nods and refocuses on Pepper and Tony. Darcy can’t breathe.  Whatever is happening, it’s big. A whole lot bigger than the blackmail, bribery, and strategic assassinations Hydra has relied on for decades. Darcy doesn’t want to know what the end of the world looks like.

 

(Some days he tells her she’s too good for him. She’ll always know that isn’t true. She chose wrong.)

 

 

\--- --- ---

 

 

They came less than 24 hours later. JARVIS informed Darcy of a call from her parents ( _Mr. and Mrs. Lewis from Middle-of-Nowhere, Iowa must be very concerned about their daughter in the big city._ ) She took the call. Someone on the other line played the frantic mother to avoid raising Tony’s suspicion ( _Darcy doesn’t recognize their voice, but they do a wonderful impression of Aunt May from the Wizard of Oz_ ). The call serves dual purposes. Hydra checks-in to make sure she hasn’t been made while simultaneously relaying a code detailing Darcy’s orders.

An hour later and Darcy has made her excuses to Jane. Her parents are really worried and want her home. With everything going on, maybe it would be better to get out of the city. Her cab will be here in just a few minutes. There really is a driver coming to pick her up. They’ll take her to a safe house.

And maybe it’s weak of her, but Darcy really wants that safe house. She wants a place where she can stop thinking. Because SHIELD is Hydra and the US Government is Hydra and Darcy is Hydra. Because Hydra almost murdered millions of people. Because Darcy loves some of those people. Because Darcy loves her family. Because her family is Hydra. Because Steve and Natasha risked everything to fight the greatest evil they saw. Because Darcy is that evil. Because she hasn’t stopped shaking since everything went online.

So it feels especially unfair when her driver turns around and puts a gun to her head before they’ve even left the parking lot.

“I guess this means no safe house.” The lamest last words ever. She wonders idly if they’re killing her because they learned she was disloyal or because they need to streamline the organization. It doesn’t really matter.

“Hail Hydra!” And is this guy kidding? He’s about to kill her and he wants her to cheerfully repeat the company line of her murderers?

“Fuck Hydra.” Those are last words she’s willing to stand by. She closes her eyes.

And hears a close-range gun shot. Plot twist: Darcy isn’t shot.

The fourth time she sees him, he is holding the gun that just killed her would-be-murderer.

“Thank god it’s you!” He doesn’t acknowledge her gratitude, but ruffles through dead-guys jacket, pocketing a wallet, keys, two phones, and a pocketknife. He hands Darcy dead-guys gun.

“Get in the car.” Darcy looks back at the tower as they drive away and lets tears well up in her eyes. They are both silent until they cross the Hudson. “Do you know who I am?”

Darcy pulls herself together. She throws away free-spirited Darcy Lewis and returns to her training. “You are the Hydra asset codename: Winter Soldier.” Training dictates that she think logically and strategically. The asset has gone rogue and obviously broken programming. He is comfortable using deadly force. He appears to believe she can be of use to him. Most likely looking for information.

“He called me ‘Bucky’.” He doesn’t elaborate, but Darcy aches for Steve. Bucky is gone.

“Steve,” Darcy barely breathes the name and she feels the Soldier’s eyes snap to her. She considers what to say. What answers will he accept? “Before you were made an asset you were a man named James Buchanan Barnes. Steve Rogers knew that man.”

This appears to be enough information to satisfy him for now and she turns her mind to their destination. He’s heading west which seems as good a plan as any when they must assume that all of their safe houses are compromised. They’ll need to switch cars soon and find new clothing for them both. She should change her hair too, for good measure. Both sides will be searching for them soon.

“He’s alive.” Darcy already knows this. She knows that Steve is in a hospital in D.C. and that he made it through surgery. She decides that this is an opportunity to remind him that she has intell that is of value to him.

“He got out of surgery at 1800. Doctors predict a full recovery. He heals fast.”

“He’s stubborn.” And that is different. The Soldier does not have opinions; he ( _it_ ) deals in facts and observations, like a camera, the Soldier passively collects images but cannot interpret them. “He should have killed me.” The statement comes out like a question. Darcy doesn’t know the answer.

“You didn’t have a choice. I did. If those people had died yesterday it would have been our fault. Him and his friends are heroes. Because of them we aren’t responsible for all those deaths. He’s given you a chance to choose.”

“And you?” It’s a good question. Has she already passed the point of no return? Is there too much red in her ledger for her to redeem herself? People like Natasha and the Soldier had no choice. Darcy always had a choice, but she’d been afraid of dying and of being alone. Darcy could have been the good person Jane and Steve thought she was. Darcy studied the man beside her ( _definitely a man and not an “it”_ ). She wondered who he would choose to be.

“I owe you my life Soldier. I will follow you.” They’ll want something with four-wheel drive if they can find it. She turns to start cataloguing his supplies in the back.

 

(You could say that was the first night they slept together. But she’s pretty sure they both stayed alert all night with knives gripped hard in their hands.)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if there's a sequel in here, but I like the way this ends. (Honesty hour: it's 4 AM and I would probably like anything.)  
> Hope you enjoyed! Comment or PM me if you have stuff to say.


End file.
